The Day I Became Grateful for all the Bad Things that have Happened to Me

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"How should you be? You should be like a rocky promontory against which the restless surf continually pounds. It stands fast while the churning sea is lulled to sleep at its feet. 

I hear you say, 'How unlucky that this should happen to me.' But not at all.

Perhaps say instead, 'How lucky I am, that I am not broken by what has happened. And I'm not afraid of what is about to happen, for the same blow might have struck anyone, but not many who would have absorbed it without capitulation or complaint.'"

-Marcus Aurelius, The Emperor's Handbook

Your Secret Room

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Everyone has a secret room. I go to mine a lot. People around me can tell when it happens. One moment, I'm present, and in the next, the look in my eyes betrays me, revealing that I'm somewhere far away. Before I get ahead of myself, let me take a step back for those who may be unfamiliar with the concept.

The Human Side of Bloodsuckers

Last week, I found out one of my favorite clients died.

It's not the first time it's happened, and it surely won't be the last. The phone call came at 9:30 on a Tuesday morning. I listened as my client's wife tearfully explained why he would not make his next court date. Instead of saying the things people are supposed to say to console someone when they've just lost a loved one, I briefly and formally expressed my sympathy, and then went straight into explaining the documentation that we would need from her in order to have his charges abated. If you'd been listening to me then and not understood the words I was saying, you'd notice no difference in my tone than if I'd been discussing a speeding ticket. However, on the inside, I felt like I'd just taken a punch to the gut. After the phone call ended, this client stayed on my mind for a while. It wasn't just because I hated the fact that he'd died. It was the way I'd reacted to hearing the news over the phone. Detached, logical, professional. On the inside, my heart ached for his wife, but my expression of that to her would have been inappropriate. I thought about how so many people see lawyers as cold, conniving, and selfish, and how much I hate that stereotype. I also thought about how based on the exchange I'd just had, I can kind of see why people think that.